Saturday, August 04, 2007

do men get pregnant?

Posted by confused, maybe not

I had a recent (fun) argument with an ex-girlfriend. We were talking when a male friend approached and announced that he and his wife were pregnant. After a brief stop and chat, he left and I said,

Me: “I hate it when men say, ‘We’re pregnant.’ Men are not pregnant. They’re having a baby with a pregnant woman.”

Ex: You’re missing the point. Men don't always take responsibility for having a baby and saying, ‘We’re pregnant’ is an expression of responsibility.”

Me: “Then do I get to say, “We’re having our period, our cramps are killing us, etc.?” Or, “Honey, don’t forget to pick up some tampons, we’re about to have our period?”

Ex: “Shut up.”

Me: “But men aren’t pregnant. We get to watch.”

Zuzu, (http://www.kindlypogmothoin.com/) put it differently and a bit more incisively at Lawyers, Gun$ and Money http://lefarkins.blogspot.com/ when commenting on an Ohio bill that (if passed) will require women to obtain written permission from the father when choosing to have an abortion http://feministing.com/archives/007480.html.

“…you had no role between your ejaculation and the child's birth. The entire pregnancy took place within your wife's body. Sorry that offends you, but that's the way biology works….The child, incidentally, who results from the sperm that the father leaves inside the mother's body. It's not a mystery how these things happen. Yet men who refuse to wear condoms because they interfere with their experience swear up and down they never meant for her to get pregnant and therefore shouldn't be responsible for the child that rather predictably results from depositing sperm inside a woman's vagina. That the person to whom the sperm was given did something with it that the donor didn't like does not mean that he's not responsible for the outcome. So a man who complains about child support would be well advised to consider the male-controlled contraception options available to him, or at least stick to blow jobs.Which, incidentally, is not the same argument as "she should have kept her legs shut." It's a "be careful where you let your sperm go" argument.If some guy is going to colonize my body for his reproductive use when I have been quite clear that I intend to terminate, he damn well better be willing to foot the entire bill for putting me through that. As explained above, however, a woman electing to continue a pregnancy after she has been given sperm involves no colonization of anyone else's body. Unless you're advocating the right of a man who doesn't want to become a father to force a woman to undergo an abortion.”

Any thoughts?